Friend or Faux?

You don’t to my age without having the vast majority of your friends sending you baby shower invitations. Normally, this results in my heading straight for Pottery Barn Kids, Babies-R-Us or where ever they’ve chosen to register and gleefully cooing over the adorable items while attempting to pick the perfect ones. It’s fun! It’s the best part without having to deal with the morning sickness, stretch marks or lifestyle change.

But all that changes when you’re trying to have a baby. It’s hard when one of your friends informs you they are pregnant to just feel genuine happiness without the green eyed monster of jealousy lurking below. It’s not easy. I’ll admit my first thoughts are usually – why not me! My follow up feelings vary based on the situations though. I have a friend who has been trying to years, if she told me she was pregnant I would be elated for her! Screaming, jumping up and down and genuinely excited. She wants it as bad as I do, if not more.

Other people though, not so much. I’ve figured out some of my friends are my faux friends. They get a little bit of pleasure out of telling me they are pregnant, like it was a race or a contest. The ultimate insults – it only took one time, I was on birth control, he can just look at me and get me pregnant – are delivered with a little smirk. Frankly, it makes me nauseous. Show a tiny bit of sensitivity and I’ll be able to be happy for you and quash the jealousy. Attempt to rub it in my face in a mean spirited way and I’m probably not going to give you the reaction that you want – unless you just want to see me angry or cry.

The worst though is when the follow up to anyone of those things is when they tell you they are dealing with it or really don’t want a baby. That’s rough. It’s hard then not to scream at them or beat your head against the table you’re sitting at. The only logical thing – grab the nearest waiter and order something strong. Straight up.